In the early evening hours of Monday December 28th, 2020 I walked up to the unmarked door of a SODO warehouse space where Tim and I met to record live drums for "Ego Death". We worked under a canopy of exposed beams and wires. Broken ceiling flaps, boxes, rugs, speakers, costumes, wood and art enveloped the space. Cars were whizzing by and a breeze could be heard in the headphones as I listened for the click track. An offering of Jim Beam peach from my parents in Georgia warmed our bodies. It was dimly lit, damp and for the most part quiet. As we set up the gear we talked about the movies we were watching. I had been on a Hobbit and Lord of the Rings binge. We said if this space was a chapter in The Hobbit it might be called The Cave of Atonement.
I asked about Tim’s favorite microphones and all the gear we were using. We talked about the Royer R-121 ribbon mic having a darker flatter sound with detailed lows and the vintage tone of the 18” Zildjian crash cymbal. It had been about six months since the conception of “Ego Death”. Mid July was when I felt safe enough to take transit over to Cat’s house and work with her on the song. I documented my experience riding over there on Sound Transit for our first band practice in person during the pandemic because it felt important.
July 14th 5:30 PM Sound Transit It’s pretty much 6 feet apart on here but you do sit directly behind or in front of people. Guards are asking people to wear masks at the stops. They block out seats next to you. Four passengers in my car all wearing masks. On my ride home around 8:45 PM there was a group of teenagers not wearing masks. There was also a woman without a mask making loud lip smacking sounds and various other people without masks. So it’s not super great. I keep running out of the train and getting into other cars whenever we stop until I finally find a car that has only one man in it and he's wearing a mask.
Cat and I only practiced a couple of times and then I didn’t feel safe commuting anymore so the song sat for a while until I eventually bought a car. Around September all of Moon Palace reconvened in this large, REALLY LARGE, warehouse space AKA The Cave of Atonement. Gabe already had the warehouse space and they so generously invited Moon Palace aboard. We were practicing for a Big Bldg Grounded Livestream and during that time we worked on “Ego Death” all together. Timothy Robert Graham shared the space as well and was already on board with producing this EP since “Faultlines” so we had a bit of momentum at this time. Unfortunately just as we were ready to record “Ego Death” right after Thanksgiving the Covid numbers went up again so the group went back to working remotely for collaboration. At that time our live stream was cancelled as well.
Pre-pandemic we would choose a weekend and devote about 10 hours per day to recording but now we had to do things a little differently because it didn’t seem safe to spend that much time together as a group. The city was encouraging us to limit time in groups and only for essential business. Was making music essential? That was a tough one because it feels essential to my mental and emotional state. But was I willing to risk my life for it? These are the questions I wrestled with and in the end I am glad we are figuring out safer ways to continue to create and produce music.
At first we did try a combination of virtual and in-person. We limited the time spent and the amount of people per recording session. In previous years we'd all be crammed in a space giving feedback, sharing ideas, cheering each other on, doing fake guitar solos and head banging when listening in. We'd feed off each other's energy and experiment with different sounds in the moment. Not on this record! This time we have to find that energy in other places. Maybe more from within or through technology.
So first the Biell’s recorded guitar, bass and vocal scratch tracks in one shorter session with just Tim. Then they sent me the track. I planned on creating beats at home and Tim was going to translate them electronically because I was too anxious to go back to the space at all with the hype about deaths going up after Thanksgiving and Christmas. I felt that with all it takes for me to focus, be technically accurate and include passion while recording drums I just couldn't do that while riddled with covid anxiety so I decided to go with the remote strategy. What also was happening for me was I had an anxiety attack while driving within that last week so my body just needed to rest and stay home a little longer.
Tim had heard “Ego Death” in person and was familiar with the patterns and vibes this time. After receiving the track from Tim I went out to my garage one December night in the atmospheric rain. I bundled up and played along with a click and the scratch vocals. He also sent me the track with just the click and the music so I could experiment. I sent the group four different takes experimenting deeper with the breakdown and creating various beats. I don't have an elaborate recording set up so I sent them voicemail recordings of my drum takes. I also hopped on a call with Tim and talked about all the parts and what should be where. The goal was to marry the digital with the punk. I shared the first Julie Ruin album and Joy Division’s Unknown Pleasures with Tim as a reference point.
Tim created drums based on my input and Gabe added synth. We went back and forth so many times with the mix. When we got it to the place we felt 99 % comfortable I gave Cat and Carrie a call because I knew something was missing. Cat and I were thinking the same thing but a little afraid to say it. We loved what Tim did and know he spent so much time tweaking these translated electronic drums and I for one was so thankful everyone was empathetic about my anxiety and not feeling safe enough to go back in and record my live drums. Still we didn’t feel right. We wanted my live drums. We couldn’t put something out there that we weren’t 100% on so I took some deep breaths talked to my partner about how to be safe while recording drums and called Tim. Four hours later we were in The Cave of Atonement recording my drum takes that are now on the record.
By Thursday, December 31st 2020, New Years Eve, Tim had sent the final bounce of Ego Death. The one we settled on was bounce twenty-one. In contrast to Billy Jean which was mixed over seventy times and they ended up going with mix two, we thought we were actually getting better with each revision.
“Ego Death” will officially be out on all platforms on Valentine’s Day 2021. The song was premiered at the end of a recent interview with The Elephant Room Podcast. Speaking about our recording process in this session opened my eyes to what we were actually doing. We were asked about the timeline of when this record is coming out. We talked about just being natural with our timing and letting it emerge. Upon reflecting on that Cat said “I think giving ourselves permission to move at our own pace in every aspect of our lives right now has allowed for beautiful organic moments of growth to happen.” During the interview we were praised for our connection to nature and the "Vantage" interlude on our first record. This reminded me that the tie to nature is an important piece to Moon Palace I'd like to keep going. I woke up this morning trying to think about how this album relates to nature and also thinking about how it's winter and I usually really rely on tightly packed bars for Karaoke and sweaty dancing with friends or jaunts to Mexico to survive the dreariness of it all. I'm trying to find new ways to find joy and closeness within this landscape. I think this body of work has those feelings of winter, isolation, hope, longing for community and having to believe it will be there again. Gray cityscapes, gathering spaciously around bonfires and mountainous terrain with short sunbursts. It’s mostly inward with nature being in the city. This is a reflection of our current state of being. I want to share this piece called "Thresholds" by John O'Donohue with you. It's from a book called "To Bless The Space Between Us" I was just gifted.
“The beauty of nature insists on taking its time. Everything is prepared. Nothing is rushed. The rhythm of emergence is a gradual slow beat always inching its way forward; change remains faithful to itself until the new unfolds in the full confidence of true arrival. Because nothing is abrupt, the beginning of spring nearly always catches us unawares. It is there before we see it; and then we can look nowhere without seeing it.”
Credits:
Vocals and Guitar | Cat Biell
Back Up Vocals and Bass | Carrie Biell
Synth | Gabriel Molinaro
Drums | Jude Miqueli
Lyrics by Cat Biell
Recorded, produced and mixed by Timothy Robert Graham at Beacon Mountain Recording in Seattle, WA
Mastered by Ed Brooks at Resonant Mastering in Seattle, WA